I think it was yesterday that I realized that it was nearly 10 PM and the sky wasn't black yet. How quickly the seasons melt from one into the next!
Last weekend I went with two gals to visit a nearby island for a little two night vacation.
Ever since coming back, I am filled with discontent.
I can't put my finger on why, exactly, I am unsatisfied and even unhappy.
Something about being on the island. Being farther from people [population on the island is lower than on the mainland]. Not hearing the sounds of traffic that irritate me and sometimes stress me out. The open spaces. The wild-harvesting opportunities [flora and fauna are more abundant and undisturbed].
I just keep thinking-- how would it be to buy a piece of land on the island? Buy a little camper and live out there? Catch rain water, keep a garden, live off the grid. Not easy, but how satisfying and grounding?
I almost feel sick to my stomach when I think that it could be impossible. That the Navy makes that sort of life impossible for me. For us.
My heart is full of longing. Not gratitude. It's not a good feeling. I'm not sure how to change it.
>>>
This week I worked my ass off in the fields.
I mowed the lawn with the manual push-mower [my idea; Matt thinks I'm crazy. It feels good to accomplish something though without using gasoline and oil-- like riding a bike?].
I planted some starts that I got from my boss. Succulents. Motherwort. Valerian. Medicinal plants on the back deck-- love.
This little terra cotta owl was a thrift-store find. :]
I can't believe how big the mint is! I bought a little cutting of it at the grocery store last year and put the leftovers in a cup of water. It sprouted roots, so I put it in a pot. It grew bigger so I put it in a bigger pot.
It got snowed on and was neglected all winter, but look! Happy little mint.
The deck feels so much more welcoming now that there are living plants in the pots out there... ;]
And the view isn't too bad either.
1 comment:
I get the same kind of feeling about the Navy. The discontent and not being able to have the kind of life I want feeling. I keep telling Bryan that I would be happier getting out, but he still insists that staying in is "better for us" because of the money/stability/blah/blah/blah. I say I run away to this island with you and help pull weeds in the garden.
I'm glad your plants are doing so well, by the way. I tried doing different kinds of bulbs around our porch this year, and so far I have lots of pretty pots full of dirt. Not the great atmosphere I was going for.
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